She was

I’ve come home and my mother isn’t here. Yesterday I didn’t think about it very much, yesterday was the day after flying here and it was all about getting our bearings and getting settled in, lots of practicalities to sort … Continue reading →

Epitaph

Been having all these thoughts and discussions about what to put on my mum’s tombstone. But anything I feel would sum her up well would be totally inappropriate. Things that spring to mind include, for example: no longer doing my … Continue reading →

Being still doesn’t necessarily mean being still.

I used to think that being still meant sitting down and not moving. Eyes shut to avoid distractions, or eyes looking at stuff that I find helpful to stillness, like a blank wall, or a river, or an open sky … Continue reading →

Being the one who understands

Here’s something I’ve just realised about myself. I like being the one who understands. I often am, which is good because it’s helpful to people, everyone likes being understood and there’s a lot of people walking around feeling misunderstood so … Continue reading →

if I stay in my shell I won’t get hurt but I won’t get hugged either

I have always, as long as I can remember, felt like an alien, like someone who doesn’t fit in. Socially awkward. Easily tongue-tied. Very often feeling like I don’t know what normal people would say in a given situation and … Continue reading →

On being peopled-out

I was talking to a friend on the phone recently and she said: I’m not an introvert, I really like people. Which points me to one of those common misunderstandings about introverts. The reason I get “peopled out” is nothing … Continue reading →

Hey, do you know this woman?

I was talking with a friend recently about the process we go through in letting people into our lives, allowing them glimpses of what we’re really like on the inside – he prefers to be cautious with new people, testing … Continue reading →

Can’t be bothered to procrastinate

or: Meirav Becomes a Grown-up Last week started with: oh dear, I’ve got a busy week ahead of me and there’s this big project that I have to finish in November and when will I be able to squeeze that … Continue reading →

work in progress

Every now and again I find myself with this feeling that, hang on, I can’t get started with life yet, I haven’t worked out how to do life yet, I’m still figuring it all out, who am I, what am … Continue reading →

One day in June… 18 years ago

[Warning: this post contains pain. You may want to look away now. Especially if you've experienced domestic abuse.] Memories sometimes resurface even though you’ve dealt with stuff. Today I find myself remembering a day in June 1994, when I suddenly … Continue reading →