one of the tricky things about fighting depression is identifying which thoughts you need to ignore. because whilst normally listening to yourself is good and helpful, depression means that if you listen to yourself too much, you can end up dead. depression means my thoughts and feelings are very much along the lines of: I can’t do anything. whilst the truth is that actually yes, I can. I can do small things, I can take small steps, I can just do the washing up, just go out to the shop, just do the laundry, just do one little thing at a time and I will actually feel better having done these things, I will actually feel better having even a small sense of achievement, not to mention moving around instead of sitting/lying down, and getting out in the fresh air, and experiencing sunshine, and maybe getting an acknowledgement from another human being that you are both human (yes, it happens…) – I know from experience that the more I listen to the “I can’t” voice, the worse I feel, and that the more I choose to fight it and say “yes, I can”, the better I feel.
it is an ongoing battle. it’s not a one-off thing. and it’s tricky, because there are times when “I can’t” is true, there are times when having a rest is what I really need, there are times when listening to myself is right and helpful. God, grant me the wisdom to tell the difference!