Here’s something I’ve just realised about myself.
I like being the one who understands. I often am, which is good because it’s helpful to people, everyone likes being understood and there’s a lot of people walking around feeling misunderstood so it’s really good to be able to offer them an antidote.
But I can’t always understand. No one can. At least I think no one can. Not absolutely everything. And now and again I hear someone share stuff about themselves and I feel it’s going over my head, I don’t really get it and I feel uncomfortable, and I realise this isn’t just because of what they need from me (being understood) but because of my own need to see myself as the one who does get it, the great superhero who will always always come to your rescue when you’re feeling nobody gets you, the one who will always always be able to say: it’s ok, I understand.
Somehow I have to accept this bit about my humanness – that I will not always be able to play that role. I will not always be able to understand everything about everyone. Maybe I can settle for being the one who understands she doesn’t always understand?