I went into a shop yesterday and bought a chocolate bar. The girl at the till said “that looks naughty” and she may have thought me weird not to respond with the usual simpering reply that women so often give to that kind of comment, apologetically agreeing that it really is naughty but “so yummy I can’t resist”.
If you’re not a woman, my guess is that you probably don’t know what on earth I’m talking about. I don’t think men do this sort of thing to each other: shaming one another for succumbing to a treat, laying on the guilt for daring to enjoy a sweet, using words like “naughty” to describe this stuff, as though we’re children doing something that mummy and daddy told us not to.
Let’s grow up, shall we? Let’s each of us take responsibility for our own choices, and respect each other’s choices, and, dare I say, respect our own choices and own them instead of being all apologetic. I was out yesterday enjoying the sunshine and I decided to buy a chocolate bar – yes, I decided to, and I enjoyed every bite.
And also: it’s bad enough when it’s our friends who do this, but what business is it of the sales person in a shop to tell me I’m buying something “naughty”? I had something similar from a guy in another shop once, where I bought sweets from their pick’n’mix. “Oh, sweeties,” he said in a mock telling-off kind of tone, “how could you?” I went home feeling kind of violated, half wishing I was the type who could have given him a haughty look and said calmly and coldly: “That is none of your business, young man, now would you kindly ring up my purchases and bag them up properly.”
I say “half wishing” because, well, I don’t really want to be that person. I just wish I knew a good, constructive way of dealing with such situations. Instead, I eat my sweeties and blog.
(oh, and also: don’t they want to sell stuff? do this sort of thing to the wrong person and they’ll walk out of the shop without buying, search for a quiet place to cry, and possibly never come back to your shop ever again.)