Last Friday I got up and switched my computer on but the internet router wasn’t lighting up as normal. Then I saw a note from my husband saying our phone line wasn’t working and he’d reported it to BT. That was the start of a very interesting few days for me. Interesting in the sense of: challenging, weird, sometimes frustrating though not too much as I was constantly filled with a sense of peace because of knowing God is in control. I was out of my comfort zone in a big way, and one of the good things about being suddenly pushed out of your comfort zone is that you learn stuff about yourself, you learn about what you actually need (because of seriously missing it), and in some cases you learn about alternative ways of getting what you need.
One of my deep needs is for the kind of creativity I normally use PicMonkey for – taking a photo and manipulating it in interesting ways, creating what I think of as scenes from an alternate universe, or alienscapes. But PicMonkey is web based so I couldn’t access it while we were internetless. If it wasn’t something I needed so much, I would have no doubt just lived without it for a few days – but if I go without my digital art “fix” for too long I get restless… So I fiddled around with good old MS Paint instead, and discovered some rather snazzy features that I never knew were there. Skew, for example…
I also learned that yes, I’m still the same introvert I was before I started interacting with people online all the time. You’d have thought that being deprived of my usual source of social interaction, I’d be so desperate that I’d talk to anyone, but no – I went out to the shops on Monday and was just about to cross the road and head back when someone who knows me called my name and my reaction was to turn my head briefly to say “hi” and then cross the road and carry on in the direction I was going, because I totally wasn’t up to having a conversation with a fellow human being just then.
And now I’m back online it somehow feels like… a new start? because for several days I wasn’t doing what’s normal to me, I feel like I don’t have to go back to the same routine, I can reinvent my “normal”. It feels freeing.
Thank you, God, for bringing so much good out of stuff that seems negative.
And thank you for sending the BT guy just when we were wondering if they’d actually got our message and thinking of trying to contact them again. And thank you that he was so nice and helpful. And thank you for all those little ways that I could see your hand in the timing of everything yesterday. Oh, and thank you for giving me an idea for an offline project just the day before this happened, so that when we were suddenly without internet I had an idea of something to do instead of my “normal”.
And thank you that it’s all working now. And for this lovely feeling of freedom. Please help me to use it well.