I went to church on Sunday evening and got all emotional. By the end of the service my glasses were totally smudged with tears. Hours later I realised I hadn’t yet shown signs of life on Google+ and people might wonder if I’m still alive, because it’s not like me to be quiet for such a big chunk of time. So I posted a brief update:
But one of the responses I got was: “Sorry to hear you aren’t feeling well.”
Which left me thinking: I guess what I’m describing is an experience that is so foreign to some people that they just don’t understand what I mean.
Because what I was talking about was actually a really positive thing. Because if I never ever reacted with tears to what I hear in church, I’d think something was missing. Because hearing and singing about God’s love for us and about Jesus dying for us – it totally should hit me emotionally! And no, I don’t go to church for some kind of emotional trip, but when my heart responds to the truth I’m hearing, and tears come pouring out, I see that as a healthy reaction.
And sometimes – not each and every time, but once in a while – the emotional impact is so overwhelming that I can’t just go back to normal straight away. On Sunday night I just wasn’t up to chatting with people as normal. I wasn’t even up to articulating how I felt. But I wasn’t “not feeling well” – quite the opposite!
Interestingly, the sermon I’d heard in church was about a woman who had publicly exhibited her love for Jesus in a way that some of the people around her just didn’t understand.
For the record: I’m ok with that. I’m perfectly ok with being misunderstood. I don’t need everyone to understand me – I have the love of Jesus and that is enough! So why am I writing this post? Because I want others to know this for themselves, I want to share with those who don’t know Jesus a bit about how wonderful it is to know him.
I want you to know that the love of Jesus is so amazing that it can sometimes leave the recipient speechless, tearful, overwhelmed.
As for me – I learned early on in my walk with God to always have tissues in my pocket when I go to church, and I truly hope I will never ever stop being emotionally impacted by what Jesus did for me. So if I get home from church and am in no state to talk to people, needing cave time because I’m so emotionally overwhelmed – to me, that means that church is working as intended.