I hope you dance, she said.

There was a course I was doing about a decade ago where our main tutor introduced us to a song that was meant to encourage us: it was all about grasping our chances and going for it – “when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance”.

I didn’t. Not in the way that course tutor intended – I didn’t pursue the direction we were being trained for. It just didn’t seem to be where God was wanting me to go, and since I know God loves me and knows what’s best, I trusted him and put those hopes to the side.

And after a while… after what felt like a very long while… God started drawing me in totally unexpected directions, and now I feel I am dancing, very energetically!

So I’m looking at where I’m at now, and in my head I’m having a conversation with that course tutor where she says “I hope you dance” and I say: depends who’s asking.

There’s something about dancing that involves trust – at least for me as a woman, when it’s the kind of dance where your partner leads. That course back then – I don’t know, I’d heard good things about it, and there were good parts, but I came out of there unconvinced. Somehow the thing we were being trained to do – it didn’t sit comfortably enough with me, it didn’t feel like the right fit for me, it was like a pair of shoes that look nice and sparkle prettily and you can squeeze your feet into them if you try hard but how long can you dance in such shoes?

I know it works for other people. I have a friend from that course who has been following that path and thriving. But it wasn’t the right dance for me (yes, I know I’m mixing metaphors wildly, it’s how my mind works, don’t judge me) and I’m really glad I didn’t bow to human pressure at the time and didn’t force my feet into those shoes.

My Father in heaven loves me and knows what’s best for me, and he knows what he’s gifted me for. If he’s leading, I am very happy to dance. Barefoot, even. Only to his tune, not to other people’s expectations.

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