knowing who I am

various moments today when I cringed as I saw myself in the mirror – and I don’t mean physically: I mean seeing glimpses of the ugliness in my heart… hearing myself speak about other people in a voice full of contempt, when I know full well that God commands me to love them… or being reminded of a particularly despicable thing I did once… horrible cringy moments, and yet…

I’m reminded of a woman just like me, who came to Jesus and wept tears of gratitude and wiped his feet with her hair because she loved him so much, and why? because she had received so much grace from him, she’d had her sins forgiven so she unabashedly showed her gratitude.

self-righteous people who were watching the scene assumed Jesus couldn’t possibly know what a sinner that woman was, or he wouldn’t let her touch him. they didn’t know what Jesus is like – he came to save people like her, and like me!

Jesus knew exactly who she was, and so did she – people so often try to hide their sins, we pretend to be better than we really are, but oh what awesome freedom we forfeit by doing that! what joy we miss out on, when we can just bring it all to Christ and receive pardon and cleansing and love!

I, like that woman, know exactly who I am, and therefore I rejoice – my sins, though many, are all forgiven through the blood of Christ, and I can revel in God’s love forever!

and you, reading this – do you know who you are? if you’re human, then the Bible says “sinner” is a description that fits you just as it fits me – the question is whether you’re a forgiven sinner or not. The only difference lies in putting your faith in Jesus and his once and for all sacrifice for all who believe. He’s done it – he bled and died on the cross, taking the punishment we all deserve. He lived a life without sin, the life you and I are incapable of – and he died as a sacrifice in our place, so we can go free!

this is why I can live with myself even though I’ve looked in the mirror. I know who I am, and so does Jesus – and he loves me.

2 thoughts on “knowing who I am

  1. Hello Meirav,

    What a beautiful article on God’s grace, about knowing fully well who we are and yet, He does not cringe from us. Instead, He wants to draw us closer to him. It is just simply amazing grace.

    “Go away from me, Lord, I am a sinful man” – A lot of times, this is exactly how I feel. The more I look at myself, the more disgusted I am at myself. I have so much imperfection that I often feel helpless in trying to be better or simple correct my imperfections. Yet, no matter how deeply I can relate to Peter’s statement, I am also afraid to walk this life alone. I have no desire to go through this life’s journey with out Jesus. (Do I make sense?)

    Simply put, I feel so broken, for various reasons, and all I want is to know that He is still there watching out for me.

    I’m not sure why I’m telling you this. It just makes me feel better. Thanks for listening.



    • if it helped you, that’s great! you know we’re not meant to walk this journey on our own, we’re meant to encourage one another, and keep leaning on Jesus, he’s never going to let you go! nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus – and like you said, he doesn’t cringe from us. While we were sinners, he died for us.


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